Painless haze

Take me back in that soma-induced haze,
Where there is no pain, no happiness.

I depise myself for feeling this way,
Being weak and helpless,
In the face of emotions.

Countless nights I have thought of you,
And spent a thousand nights in pain and happiness.

I thought I promised myself to stay away,
Even for an hour of harmless fun.
Yet I received pleasure from your company...