I don't know what I've gained,

But I know what I've lost. 

Sometimes I'm afraid,

Of sitting alone in the dark. 

I'm not afraid to face loneliness,

I'm afraid to face God. 

To feel only His displeasure,

As I feared the consequences of my varied sins. 

I'm afraid of my darkness,

I know I'm no angel of light. 

I'm a mere mortal,

Who is supposed to be right. 

If I'm right,

Why do I fear standing in the presence of God?

I've done nothing but shamed Him,

Caused Him to shake His head at me in disappointment. 

Yet He is gracious in His ways,

And yet not sought punishment in this state.

Lord, oh Lord, 

Please let Your will be done. 

Even more so,

Let me know what exactly your will is so I can do Your will. 

I'll not fight You anymore,

I'll do my best to do that.