Teenage

Teenage years is going to pass,
But I feel I barely started
Pain and regret, silence and torment.
I've been though them.
But why haven't I
Experience the joy and happiness
Of teenhood?

I didn't feel the first rush of freedom,
The something everyone was talking about.
I feel so empty inside,
Lonely in the pursuit of my dreams.
I know I have caring friends surrounding me,
And family beside me,
Yet I feel so alone.

Sometimes I wonder if I was destined to be alone,
Though I know true love comes later in life.
But love isn't the thing I want,
Or coveted right now.
I want my youth, my right to live,
As I should as a teen
Regardless of who I am.

Maybe I outcasted myself, they say
But I disagree with all my heart.
I cannot force myself to fit in
In a group that is alien to me
That my entire entity fears
To be in.