Thoughts That I Want The Reader To Know.

Masking my emotions,
With a veil of laughter.
Hiding my pain,
With a cloud of delusion.
Denying my thoughts,
With a haze of indifference.
Stalling my tiredness,
With a burst of liveliness.

Don't pretend to know me,
I no longer understand myself.
All I have known has disappeared,
Leaving confusion in their wake.

Don't pretend to know me,
I no longer aware of my heart.
All I have loved has tumbled together,
Leaving a swirling mass of grey.

Don't pretend to know me,
I no longer fear the inevitable.
All I have wanted I have lost.
Leaving only emptiness inside.

Don't pretend you know me,
I no longer able to question.
All I have embraced I have let it go,
Leaving only darkness within.

I am not me.
I can now use laughter
To become her.
The girl that protects me.
From my wounds.
Who knows,
Laughter can become
So strong a weapon?

I am not me.
No longer.
She is so much stronger,
Tougher.
It is just so ironic isn't it?
Only when I am not myself,
Then I can be stronger...
Simply complex.

Don't ask me questions
I can't answer..
Don't ask me to say,
The things I keep within myself.
Don't ask me feelings,
I have no desire to examine..
Don't ask.