The day suddenly turned to grey,
Darkening across the blue sky.
I wonder why the sun never rise,
And the contrast seems so bleak.

It seems to mirror my emotions,
Swirling undetected underneath everything.
Because all I want to do now is to cry,
Waiting for the end to come.

I am standing at the start,
My heart's pounding waiting for an answer.
My tears seems to stall,
There's no call..

I wonder what I am feeling,
When I don't have a name for it.
Its just an emptiness,
That I no longer feel.

Feeling depressed these few days, which hasn't happened in a very long while. Feeling very confused, and kinda heartbroken... I want to watch the movie with him and E, but I don't want to not go for freshie prac. Not that I want to, because I don't want to interact with people for the rest of the sem. I am breaking I guess? But mainly heartbroken. Making mistakes every other day, and generally expecting seniors' scolding and disappointments. I find myself in a state where I could just simply give up and let people talk. I am tired enough that I just wanna give up everything and just do whatever I want. To heck with anything else.

I just want to close two ears and pretend that everything is fine. I just want to pretend that everything is fine and dandy, and when he likes me and we actually have a relationship (or otherwise) rather than the pretentious one (I feel) we have now that I am trying my best to please without compromising my other stuff. Really, I am exhausted. And really, I am useless at freshie's batch anyway. :/

Maybe I should just give up. After gl'Mour. Like go back to the life that I've left behind and just stop dancing. Just playing the idea around in my head. Maybe I am just not good enough for anything. Or maybe I am just so tired and disappointed and overwhelmed. And I am starting to wonder do I even matter to anyone anymore. Because I am back to where I am started.