Past

Everything changed
No longer the torment
No longer the pain

Everyone changed
No longer the fear
No longer the silence

Everywhere changed
No longer the familar
No longer the reminiscing

Everyday changed
No longer the cold
No longer the shivering

But
I still miss the old times,
Where warmth is precious.
When
I still bathing in its embrace
Where everything seemed real.
That
I still know how to treasure
Where there was none.
So
I still aware that I am important
Where friends are far and few.

The times are gone,
Far, far away.
I threw it away
Gladly
With my own hands.
Flung hard.
Into an unknown land.

Yet I know,
In some part of my heart,
It still hurts
Silently bleeding,
Drops, drops of scarlet liquid
Slipping into
Nothingness...

If you,
My intended,
read this......
please,
Remember
And
Forgive Me.

Regret

Do I regret
Being the way I am
Now?

Do I regret
Keeping my desires
Quiet?

Do I regret
Not being like her
Ever?

Do I regret
Forget keeping in touch
Then?

Do I?
Do I?

Oh,
I don't know
The something
That pushes me forward
Is pulling me
Back and back

That I
Lost my way
Lost my sight
Lost my self
Lost my heart

No,
no,
My friend,
It is not love
or sadness
That distress me.
It is myself,
The hidden part of me,
That no one saw.

The dark recesses in my heart
Where fear lies,
Where dangers lurks.
Where hope fades,
Where safety flees.

Somewhere that
No longer visible
To any eye
Naked or otherwise.
Look.
Feel.
Nothing.