Pain and fear

Everytime I walk down this path,
My heart aches.
As though a knife pierced repeatedly,
Relentless like the storm brewing.

Everytime I chose to turn away,
There's something holding me back.
When I close my eyes,
I'll see your face.

Everytime I see your face,
I am reminded of everything.
Yet in the darkness of night,
I can only feel the pain.

Everytime I close my eyes,
The pain surfaces, briefly,
Before panic sets in,
And I can't control myself.

Everytime it rains,
I can only cry for the lost times.
Regrets thundered against the window,
Love poured with heaviness.

If you are reading this,
Please remember the me before this.
Before all the lies,
And all the pain.

If you are reading this,
Please accept my apologies.
They are heartfelt and true,
And painful too.

No amount of words or actions,
Can express the regrets and pain.
No amount of words and actions,
Can ever take away my memories.

I remember the days before,
Just before.
Your happy smile.
I really wish you will find it again.

You are really the happiest,
When you love God.