Despair

Have I lost everything?
What I have held dear to my heart,
Everything?
The structure of thought,
The structure of whatever i always wanted?

I am learning,
To trust you Lord.
But I don't know
If I am worthy of your love.
I had live the life of a run away son.
And return to your side.
Yet I feel the guilt running through me
Is this Lord, satan's handicraft?

Lord, help me.Help me to stick close to your side.
Leave me not, Lord.
Because I am ashamed of myself.
Terribly, very sick of myself.
The way i am living it,
As though nothing matters.

In Time

There is so much to say,
But everytime I see you,
Everything fades away...

It doesn't matter what the future brings,
I live for the present.
It doesn't matter what you think of me(actually it does)
As long I don't annoy you.

In time,
All might fade,
But I am storing up memories,
To keep me up everyday.

In time,
All might get stronger,
I am keeping everything in my heart,
To tell you my true feelings.

Maybe, maybe,
You might leave,
Maybe, maybe,
I might go,
But I will always know,
That I love you once.
The kind of love that
A seventeen-going-on-eighteen girl can give.